she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
