I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
