Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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