It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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