He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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