this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
