I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
