My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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