your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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