we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
