if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
