So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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