BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
