We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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