i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize