i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
