I CAN MOONWALK!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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