I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
