She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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