what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
bring money and cleavage
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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