So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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