Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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