If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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