Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
