I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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