Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
