Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
