just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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