Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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