Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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