It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize