i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
