Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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