So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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