Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
