I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
