speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Be still, my beating vagina.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
