You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
