She's JV to your varsity
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
