I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
