Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
