Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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