We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
