Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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