ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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