Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
