While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
