Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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