butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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