THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
