remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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