If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bring me that man meat
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
